Durian!!!!!!!!!

Durian.. nyum nyummm! It's been a long long longgggggg time since I last had "real" durian (and blog. It's been like 2 months since my last update. wow~). Most of the local durians just don't fit my flavour. Ahuks.

And so, as usual, the very un-updated moi was the last to know about fidz! Urgh.. I feel so blur and blunt. Like, in the middle of our lunch at TPH, the clueless slash blind slash ignorant moi asked, "so u guys and fidz joined spanish class.. rite?. How was it?". (DOINK!) The reply goes: "G!~ Inda ko tau kah". (A big "?" above me). *blink blink* in disbelieve. Tapi cool on the outside. God knows what was going on in my mind.. and heart.. and mind. Then the heart. Watever. And so the story continues. The clueless, ignorant moi continued lunch as if nothing happened. Tapi dalam hati.. dushhhhhhh.. whattaheww.. What do I have to say?. Well guess what. I know fidz. I know she'll get through this. It might not go as smooth as the breeze at Tungku beach (what?), but I know she'll get through it. Come on pepz!, it's fidz. The mighty girl next door *winks winks all the way*. You have my prayers babe. Muahz muahz. I know I'm the last so I'll save all the lovey dovey sappy lame all sayings, poems and motos. ;-p

Huhuhuhu.. Believe it or not. I almost forgot about my bff's birthday. Jessiqua darling.. gomenasai!!!! *slap my forehead*.


Last nite was just unbelievably fun! Hahah.. Yes kaka M, last nite was splendid. There was a minute event going on over at aunt's place and it was pouring heavily! So my girls and I were out with our umbrellas (which didn't quite served it's purpose of shielding us against the rain) offering "umbrella services" to the ladies and gentlemen that attended (i.e. guests). It was practically nothing more than a perfect excuse to play with the rain! Hahha.. And so we were wet top to toe, well with minor exceptions, such as the face. *blink blink* (There goes my mascara). Talk about.. "Singing in the rain~" and "Under my umbrella.. ella~ ella~".. You know the rest of the lyrics.


I'm sleepy!!! I hope tomorrow will work out as planned!. Summer don't leave me so soon!!!!!

Alas the sand glass

And so.. I found a friend online!.. Woohoo!... Yup.. found jauinah online..
It's absurd this internet thing .. sometimes..
So flickering through the list of friends of friends in "facebook", I came across an extremely familiar name... and so.. ta da!

Workload isn't quite piling up.. but the deadlines.. more like 'death'-lines.. are definitely pushing me off the cliff! I'm losing my rhythm of life!!

Immature! ==> meaningful. (according to a ching-gu)...!

Come to think of it.. feels nice to dwell into memories of the past. From Singapore, back to Brunei.. again to Singapore then back again, Brunei.. alas.. Scotland. What do I get from living in many places? The most valuable thing? Hmm....Probably my friends... My list of friends is practically endless.. I can't keep track of everyone.. I wish I could!

The story of my life begins... The crazy times are the best moments. But there are also "weird" times. I still remember feeling so awkward and alienated when I first returned to Brunei for good (well, for six years at least..) for the first time...went to a local school. Why do they keep looking at me as if I'm from outer space? What's so great about coming from overseas? Just because I can't speak fluent malay.. and my english is totally american, doesn't make me not bruneian. Does it?

I still need to know more about my country. I was practically culture-shock in my own country. Haha. I know it sounds ridiculous.. but it's true. I'm learning how to lose my American accent.. and I have to say I'm doing well. People barely notice it.. So that's a headstart. Second, I need to learn more special bruneian words. Like.. "auw bah..", "mmm kali jua.."... Hehe.. Getting lots of help from my cousins and bruneian friends!

No matter what language I speak, people I hang out with.. school I go to.. Nothing feels as cool as being 100% bruneian. It's a shame I didn't know much about my country. I could've showed-off my country to my friends! After ISB, I think I was much more Bruneian. Hehehe.. that's coz most my friends in ISB are Bruneian. Though we spoke english in School, at least I had to speak malay when I'm outta school. I still remember talking to this chinese dude at some car workhop in English.. then he was like.. "Can u speak in malay?". Haha. I just laughed my head off. Then I left the rest of the talking to my friend.. since my malay sucks.

Enuf said.. I wanna look for my friends from primary school. I remember names and faces.. but no contact info what so ever. Haha.. sekolah rendah anggerik desa.. (woohoo! I still remember the name of my school!.. it's soo long u know..)... Those days when my brother was always in trouble because of me.! Azman..sheila.. diana.. zurah.. Where are u guys?? Haha.. I even remember my teachers name.. not that I want to. (hehe)

Then there's sekolah rendah kiarong (the names longer.. but can't remember it.. keke).. Hakim.. Sia.. Audi.. Jawinah.. Huda.. Siti Hawa.. Zarina.. Hmm... I can't believe I still remember u guys.

Even STPRI friends... though I was in STPRI for like a month only.. I don't know why.. but the names I remember most are filzah and shazana.. Hmm.. I wonder where they are? I bet they don't even remember me.

To my beloved friends.

Clicking through my blog, dating way back to January last year, I felt a great sting through my spine. Those days.. those UBD days.. felicities and sorrows of those days filled the every moment of my final teenage year... Without much realisation, I've been writing for just over a year in this blog. So much of my life are engraved in this very blog.. yet my life has been a composition of far too many events.

Sunrise till sunset.. my life cycles endlessly (.. at least, I wish it will). Just by reading a couple of blog entries, it's prominent than my life, my mood, my personality has gone through a phase change. I can't really explain what happened.. but the atmosphere of my writings in Brunei are far more blissful.. far more cheerful than the ones I've written couple of months ago. I can't seem to figure out why this is so... when many exciting events have taken place ever since I moved to Scotland.. Going to London, visiting Hong Kong.. holiday in Barca, day trip to Edinburgh.. All good, happy days. Yet I'm not content. What do I lack?

The real agenda I had in mind was to write about my friends. My two dearest friends, pids n eechut. I miss everyone dearly, actually. I can't stop thinking about Brunei.. especially after the exam period.. Life felt so dragging.. so heavy.. days so gloomy.. Couple of days have passed by ever since I heard about their results. My first thought, 'I wish I could be by their sides, I wish I could just go back, even for a day.. or even an hour. I just want to make sure that they're fine'. I seemed calm outside. Again my specialty (or curse) overtakes me. I always have this habit to just look calm.. when the truth is I'm boiling deep inside. There were far too many thoughts juggling in my mind. The only thing that kept me intact was the fact that I know... I know for sure that both girls are strong as strong can be. I know it's hard. I know it seems impossible. But just hang in there. Just keep your head up and keep moving forward. Don't look back.. don't ever bother to look back for even a glimpse of the past... cause the further away you are from the past, the brighter the future will be.